Roses Are Red Can I Motorboat Your Tiddies Shirt

See measurement chart among the product images.

Our tees are printed on the Bella+Canvas 3001 - a unisex tee with a crew neck and a modern retail/classic fit that’s flattering without feeling tight. It’s side-seamed (so it keeps its shape) and built for everyday comfort.

Pick your vibe:

• True to size = clean, everyday fit.
  
• Size up 1 = more relaxed / “I’m here for comfort (and chaos)” fit.
  
• Between sizes? Go up for breathing room, down for a closer fit.
  
  

The no-nonsense way to choose the right size:

Grab your favorite t-shirt at home, lay it flat, and measure:

• Chest width (armpit to armpit)
  
• Body length (from the High Point Shoulder / HPS to the hem)
  
  Those are the exact measurement points used on the official 3001 spec chart.
  

Heads up: “Unisex sizing” basically means it’s designed to fit a wide range of bodies - if you want a more fitted look, stay true to size; if you want it roomier, size up.

We ship fast (because your new favorite shirt shouldn’t have to suffer). Here are our average delivery times:

• USA: 2–5 business days
  
• Canada / Australia / Rest of World: 10–30 business days
  

Everything is made to order, so please allow 2–3 business days for production first (holidays can take 2–5 business days). Tracking vibes: immaculate. Patience vibes: appreciated.

Changed your mind? Wrong size? Decided you don’t want to traumatize Aunt Karen this Thanksgiving? All good.

• 30 days from delivery to return it for a full refund
  
• Free returns — we cover return shipping
  
• Email us with your order number + “RETURN” in the subject, and we’ll send a prepaid label
  

We can’t accept items that are worn, washed, damaged, or custom/personalized.

We print on the BELLA+CANVAS 3001 because it’s the kind of tee that feels “nice” the second you put it on - and still looks good after repeat wear.

• Airlume combed & ring-spun cotton: smoother, softer, and cleaner than standard cotton (less junk in the fibers = nicer feel).
• Lightweight but not flimsy: 4.2 oz fabric with 32 singles for a premium, smooth finish.
• Retail fit + side-seamed: holds its shape and drapes better than boxy “promo tees.”
• Built details: shoulder-to-shoulder taping, cover-stitched collar/sleeves, and a tear-away label for comfort.

In short: premium softness, better fit, and a cleaner canvas for the print — so your shirt turns heads for the right reasons.

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean